I should, I have to

Do something today

When was the last time you did something for the first time?

How will you approach your holidays ?

Are you happy in your job?

The First Steps are always difficult

"The best way to predict the future... is to create it."

Abraham Lincoln

Armine, you created your brand ' Les Ateliers J' proposing clothing for kids 1 year ago, how did it all start? 

I didn’t have at all the idea to create a company. I was just sewing for my nieces, my nephews, my friends, my daughter. I was just doing it for fun and little by little people got excited, started asking for more and after a while I didn’t have time anymore to do it on my own. So I decided to create a small line, based on the designs that I had sewed in the past to start with... That’s how it all started!

What was the trigger that makes you do the first step? It can be something you said to yourself, a click, an event, a belief,etc.

I thought that making a kids clothing line on my own would be exciting. Knowing that I will start a small activity - working on my preferred style designs that people will like to have at home as well, hoping that I will be able at some point to create partnerships (with specific sustainable suppliers and people) on my own without following any company rules or any corporate world. Just do the way I like and around what I like, create my own activity. 

Any particular event that triggered the starting point?

The birth of my daughter Jade was the starting point of my real interest for kids clothing. I got more and more excited to sew for her and later I decided to create the brand ‘ Les Ateliers J’. Living the kids fashion with her accelerated the materialisation of the project.

What were the barriers/difficulties you faced and how did you overcome them?

Many barriers came and are still coming along the way! At the very beginning, it was simply the basic tasks (find the right seamstresses to work with, source carefully the fabrics, make sure about the quantities, sizes, etc). It was all new for me and I was not sure that I will be able to do it, but after a while I finally managed to overcome these challenges step by step. That’s how I could move on, but for sure at the beginning nothing was clear! 

Would you say that you anticipated them?

No, I had no idea! And sometimes I am still surprised by all the things I have to manage and learn! In fact, I didn’t have this project in mind at all, it came spontaneously. I told myself, I will try it and if it doesn’t work, it doesn’t work’. It was so new that I didn’t anticipate anything. And each time I face some difficulties, I wonder if I will manage to go through it or whether I will simply stop. You just need motivation and mostly to be eager to learn! There are still so many things/ideas that I would like to implement (especially more toward the sustainable/social) but it is challenging for me due to time constraint, with my full time job and two kids.

...so there are moments when you think ‘ I should stop’?

Yes many!

..and what makes you continue?

The hope that the activity will increase progressively and that at some point, the brand ‘Les Ateliers J’ will become a sustainable business.

Even though you have been creating this project by yourself, you had secure bases that gave you a sense of protection and the energy to make it all happen. A secure base can be a place, a person, a belief, etc*.

Who/what were the secure bases that helped you to bring the project to life? How would you say they made you strong enough to make it happen?

My husband definitely. He believes in me. He supports me. He listens to me a lot, at least he was at the beginning! Nowadays a little bit less 😉 To see that he believes in it makes me think that it’s worth it, and makes me feel more confident. If I would see him doubt, I guess I would just give up. His point of view really matters to me.

Singapore and the environment here is one of my secure base as well. It is easier to start a business and financially I could afford it, since I already have a job. 

How do you manage to be a mom of 2 kids, have a job and still find time to have your own company?

I optimize! I work during my lunch time, in the public transport between home and work or in the evenings after the girls showered instead of watching Netflix for instance. I have a to-do list that I follow.

What did you visualize when you started your company? Did you have a vision from the very beginning or did it come along the way?

I had zero vision! It just came along the way. For example, today, one of my wish is to provide sewing job to women in need, but when I started 1 year ago I had no idea where I was going! Each step gives me an idea on how to go further. So step by step, I am developing actions. My next target hopefully: try to donate some dollars to a charity for each item sold. 

What has been your motor/fuel to become an entrepreneur?

-- long silence--- I still don’t believe that I am an entrepreneur! - she laughs- 

I would never have thought that I would be an entrepreneur one day! For me an entrepreneur is someone that has an idea, a business plan in mind, a vision etc. I still don’t consider myself as an entrepreneur!

Coming back to your question, my main motor is to play with my own rules. And I like as well the challenge: I want to prove to myself that I can do it!

That's an interesting answer. I am coaching a lot of women that put themselves barriers, because they have an idea of what is an entrepreneur and they don’t think they can be one. These barriers we put to ourselves do not really exist, because an entrepreneur can be anyone, doing anything!

Yes exactly! I never pictured it for myself. It is not the fact that I wanted to become an entrepreneur that made me an entrepreneur. It is the things that I have done that make me now an entrepreneur.

What would you like to share with the people that are reading this article and are hesitating to launch their project? How can they do the first steps?

First of all, believe in yourself and in your project: why not you? I meet many entrepreneurs and I start to think ‘if he or she did it, why not me?’ 

Secondly, tell yourself: ‘If it doesn’t work, it’s ok’. I actually still think a lot about that. Now I am going to launch my second collection and if the business doesn’t follow and I have to stop it, I would not think that I have failed. I always tell myself: ‘you try and if it works, good for you, if at some point you have to stop, you stop, it is also ok cause anyway you have learned so much’.

And finally, I would say: You need to dare it! 

So you are not afraid to fail?

No. For sure, I would be sad if I have to stop the activity, but I would not be destroyed by it. I would think that it was a fun experience and that I have learned many things actually and that eventually it didn’t work for some reasons.

Thank you Armine for sharing your story. We are curious... Can you tell us: What is your next step?

I have many ideas in mind, I see many next steps! My short term next step is to launch my second collection and hopefully a third one! Wish me luck!

.... What about you? Are you ready to dare your next first step? 

Des petites pensées de gratitude

A grateful heart is a magnet for miracles.

En développant de la gratitude pour les choses simples de la vie

Être en vie, être en bonne santé, avoir un mari/une femme aimante (bien que pas parfait(e)!), avoir un toît, etc. On a tendance à les considérer comme acquises... mais souvent c'est au moment où on les perd qu'on commence à se rendre compte qu'elles sont importantes voir primordiales dans notre vie.*Il y a d'ailleurs une petite vidéo que j'adore à ce sujet: Christmas Presents.

Les petits plaisirs sont aussi des choses simples de la vie: un bon capuccino le matin, une séance de sport, enlever ses chaussures en arrivant à la maison, il y a tellement de petites choses dans une journée qui nous font plaisir! Mais elles sont devenues tellement naturelles/quotidiennes qu'on les a presque oubliées! Prenez-en conscience en vous observant. En prendre conscience vous permettra de les apprécier.

En remerciant la vie pour ce qu'elle nous apporte

Les belles choses comme les choses plus difficiles. Développer une attitude 'soit la situation me rend heureux, soit elle m'apprend quelque chose'. Et dans les deux cas, on peut développer de la gratitude. J'essaie d'appliquer cette règle dans ma vie aujourd'hui. J'avoue, ce n'est pas facile. Surtout sur le moment quand on est en colère, déçu(e), ou triste. Mais j'essaie de rétroactivement penser à la situation et de me dire: Qu'est ce que j'ai appris? Comment puis-je ressentir de la gratitude pour ce qui est arrivé? Je dis j'essaie parce que desfois, je n'y arrive pas: pour certains sujets sur lesquels mon deuil n'est pas fait. Mais je continue. Le temps aide à beaucoup de choses. La règle d'or, c'est de ne pas abandonner. Je crois que les efforts sont toujours récompensés, ça me drive et ça m'aide à avancer.

En éprouvant de la gratitude pour les personnes qui contribuent à notre bonheur

Ca peut être des gens proches de nous: nos parents, notre conjoint(e), nos enfants, nos frères et soeurs, nos ami(e)s. Mais ça peut aussi être le boulanger qui a fait la bonne baguette que nous sommes en train de déguster (oui, je suis française!), la personne qui a vendu le terrain pour qu'on puisse y construire notre maison, la personne qui un jour a eu la merveilleuse idée d'inventer cette recette qu'on aime tant!!

Il y a pleins de façons d'exprimer cette gratitude, par des petites pensées par ci par là dans la journée, pendant une petite méditation, le soir dans son lit avant de s'endormir, en écrivant, etc. Choississez la façon qui vous correspond. On peut soit partager ces pensées, soit les garder pour soi. Ce sont des pensées inconditionnelles que l'on éprouve et c'est à vous de voir si vous voulez les partager. Les partager vous aidera à réaliser encore plus ce beau sentiment que vous éprouvez. Même si vous ne partagez pas ces pensées expressément, l'attitude que vous allez développer grâce à elles parlera d'elle-même et les personnes autour de vous le ressentiront.

Alors lancez vous ce petit défi... parce que ça fait du bien de dire merci et d'éprouver de l'amour sans rien attendre en retour. Entraînez-vous à avoir une petite pensée par jour jusqu'à ce que ça devienne un automatisme. Car comme vous le savez, tout est une question d'entraînement! Ne soyons plus en pilote automatique mais prenons en main nos pensées. Nous pouvons les guider.

A moi de vous remercier pour avoir lu cet article que j'espère vous avez apprecié. C'est mon premier article en français, je le dédis à ma famille avec tout mon amour.

The courage of Acceptance

Accepting the anger

When a bad thing is happening to us, the first reaction is to deny that this is happening. 'No it cannot be true!' 'that's impossible!'

On my wedding day in the South of France, we planned a wonderful magical wedding under the stars. Oh god, you will never believe what happened to us! From the moment we left to the city hall, it started to rain cats and dogs without stopping. The first reactions from my family were 'oh, it's nothing' 'don't worry, it's going to stop'...What an illusion! How do you even know?? No one knows, let's just accept what is happening right now and plan what needs to be done to react accordingly and move on.

What is expressed by this denial? Sadness, anger... all kinds of emotions. We don't know how to deal with the situation so we prefer to pretend that it is not happening because it is too painful to accept.

So how to accept the anger? By accepting to be angry. We live in a society, where anger is associated to violence. That is not correct. It is healthy to be angry! It is happening very often to many of us. So, tell yourself ' I am angry and it is ok'. Listen to your anger. Most of the time we are even mad at ourself that we are angry! Crazy stuff! By being ok with our anger, the pain is divided by minimum the half, I promise.

In practise:

it is important to release this anger somehow, ex. doing sport to let it out. If the anger is very present, many coaches or therapists propose to do anger work and it is very powerful.

Accepting the loss

In this situation, we need to accept the loss of what we wanted to have, to live, or basically what we wanted for ourself. Let's be honest: it is not going to happen. Or at least, not this way. So, it is time to accept it.

It can be any loss: the loss of the job of your dreams, the loss of a relationship, the loss of a promotion that you didn't get,etc. In my example, I had to accept the loss of the wedding I imagined. Not easy! Especially, when you have projected a lot of hope in a situation you really wanted for yourself. And I would even say, when you have done everything for it, and it is not happening.

To accept the loss, the following might help:

Seeing new possibilities

Now that you have screamed about it, cried about it, it is time to open yourself to new possibilities. As we say: a door closed but others opened. Open yourself, look around you, each situation is opening new possibilities. Even the most difficult ones. Do you know the story of Azim Khamisa*? His son was murdered by a young boy. He forgave the murderer and the grand father of the murderer became his best friend. Together now, they are spreading the word of tolerance at school. If in this situation you can see this kind of possibilities, then any situation can. Don't you think?

You didn't get your exams? Do it again! Change studies! Change University! You got the worse project of the company? Challenge yourself! Get people you trust on board! Make it done as you want it to be!

Lower your expectations

I would say as a final statement: lower your expectations. By having less expectations, we give ourselves more chances to be happy about the result. If I promise you a huge chocolate cake and I give you a small apple pie, you will be very disappointed. But if I promise you a small chocolate square and I give you a nice chocolate muffin, you will be positively surprised.

Get this attitude ' I do my best and we will see what happens'. Be proud of yourself no matter what happens in the end. Put all the chances on your side to succeed, to get what you wish, but understand that there are things that you cannot control and there will always be. So take a bit of distance to the result. Life is a journey. Keep fighting for your dreams. If a dream is not working out, don't give up. If it is gone, find another dream. That's the attitude that will make you happy.

Finally, I would like to dedicate this article to a coach that thought me a huge lesson of acceptance (she will recognize herself). She has a cancer and she is talking about it like eating an apple! She is accepting it, living with it and still moving on. Accepting doesn't mean abandoning. Or not fighting. It means a first step to move on to the next chapter.

And you? Are you willing to accept what didn't happen as you want in your life?

Let's do it!

How to get started? Just do something!

" To start moving, you just need to have 5% of the answers to your questions, the other 95% come along the way. Those who want 100% of the answers to start moving remain stuck. "

Mike horn

Stop finding excuses

'I am tired', 'I don't have time', 'I am not good enough', whatever! I am not saying that you are not tired or that you have plenty of time, I am just saying that by thinking this way, you are putting yourself into that mood. You are bringing your 'mind's eye'* on it and by focusing on it, you block yourself to find other ways, to see other possibilities.

You are in control. You can stop these excuses by firstly not telling them out loud- when you speak something out loud, it becomes reality. By not talking about it, it will help you to find room to do something. Make space in your brain for other possibilities.

Clarify what is important for you (your values)

If you want a change, it's because there is something in your life which you are not satisfied with. I find it useful to ask yourself the following questions, you can take a paper and answer to them step by step - it won't take long, I promise! - :

Which needs are currently not satisfied in this situation ?
What are the values that are not satisfied?

Once you have done the list of the needs above, it becomes quite easy to define the values one by one. (example: recognition, respect, security) This second list expresses what you want, instead of what you have right now. It gives you a first reading grid of what is important for you. Classify these values in 3 columns: essentials, important, nice to have. Keep this list aside, put it in a nice book or somewhere it feels right for you. These are your values, they deserve a nice spot in your house.

Identify what is motivating you

Answer the 2 questions below :

Here you will clarify what are your motivational factors. How do you concretely motivate yourself ?

For instance, I motivate myself when I feel trusted. I motivate myself when I am in a busy environment. I motivate myself when I can speak several languages, etc. It is concrete and it helps you to identify what you need right now to move on.

Once you have identified your values and your motivational factors, you have the first tools in your hand to get started with 'something' as a first step to a change.

Finally, take time to anchor these values in yourself

It is important to take time to anchor these values in you. They will help you to trust in yourself, in the actions you will take. Carry them as a Talisman. Be proud of them. Stand for what is important for you.

One of my value is tolerance. I should be proud of it. I carry my values with pride. You want to make fun of me because I am like this? Go ahead, I will not be ashamed of it.

How to anchor them?

So, that's it! You can now start whatever you want to! Just start something that is in line with your values, who you are, and things will come naturally along the way. I love this quote from Mike Horn (translated from french)' To start moving, you just need to have 5% of the answers to your questions, the other 95% come along the way. Those who want 100% of the answers to start moving remain stuck.'

So you know what you have to do!